So You Fell For A Trekkie
by Sanity's-overrated
Summary: Just a bunch of snippets of Trekkie!Dean & Trekkie!Lucifer in high school. Herein lies lots of references to TOS/AOS!Trek ye be warned
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I've recently become obsessed with ST:TOS and the first 6 films (plus the 2 reboot), and given that Dean seems to be a closet Trekkie (Frontierland anyone?) and Lucifer has pretty good working of pop culture, I got it in my head that these two would geek out together, so here's a bunch of drabbles, who knows how long this will end up being or if I'll make an actual full length fic. Drop a review if you think I should.

* * *

5 Times Star Trek Influenced Their Lives In An Odd Way & 1 Time Everything Was Alright

1.

Lucifer doesn't even know why he said it, but he knew it was wrong the second it left his lips; even though everyone was laughing.

He hadn't meant for that to come out, but he supposes that's what happens when you hold a Star Trek: The Original Series marathon over the weekend. Still, he probably should have had a little more restraint.

Then again, he'd never claimed to share that Vulcan attitude of staying in line. He was a more...emotional being, who acted before he thought of logic.

Which is why when Ms. Harvelle asked him 'what's the definition of a hyperbole' he didn't think before responding:

"Dammit ma'am, I'm a guy not a dictionary!"

Needless to say, it wasn't his finest moment as he walked out with a pink slip proclaiming "use of profanity in class".

2.

Dean glared at the clock and willed it to move faster. It didn't.

He was stuck in government listening to old man Turner regale the class with conspiracy theories. It was enough to drive a person mad, because they all ended with 'they're trying to keep the man down'.

Sighing softly, he let his gaze turn to the class, smiling faintly when he saw Lucifer mime his death from boredom. Smirking, he got an idea to liven up the class.

He waited until Mr. Turner launched into how Kennedy's assassination was a big cover-up, before he launched himself out of his seat screaming "KHHAAAAAANNN-gress."

He didn't even argue with the pink slip stating 'disruption to the learning environment', he was just happy to hear Lucifer laugh.

3.

Hindsight was a bitch, because looking back, Dean is 99.997% sure that had he known it was Mr. Shurley's car parked up front and not Mr. Roman's like he originally thought, he wouldn't have done what he did.

I mean, sure it was a good idea, sort of, but decidedly less funny when you vandalize the principal's car instead of the dick algebra teacher.

Of course, one thing that worked in his favor was Lucifer making a rather memorable alibi.

'No Dad, Dean couldn't have spray painted your car in Klingon, we were behind the gym- oh you don't wanna hear? It's a good story, really.'

Lucifer just smirks as his father waves him off, and tells him to get in the vehicle now.

Dean can't help the smile that forms on his face when Lucifer throws up a Vulcan salute then motions for Dean to 'call him'.

Perhaps the prank hadn't truly backfired.

4.

"And you had what over the weekend?" secretary Rosen asks looking at Lucifer as though he's grown a second head.

Lucifer sighs as Dean tries to hold back a giggle.

"I said, I had an acute case of xenopolycythemia."

Ms. Rosen's eyebrows knit together in confusion before she grabbed the blue slip.

"How do you spell that?"

Lucifer grinned in victory as he started to spell it out, and Dean had to turn away to stifle his laugh.

Lucifer's blue slips were legendary.

5.

Dean realizes he shouldn't have acted quite so rashly, least of all before he knew the kid he had insulted was the transfer German kid who stood head and shoulders over Dean.

Lucifer's working damage control attempting to get the kid to calm down and switch American idioms to mean more positive things.

He keeps glaring at Dean for his colorful metaphors, because really, who in their right mind would use 'double dumbass on you' and not expect something bad to happen?

+1.

Lucifer laughed playfully swatting at Dean's hands.

"Knock it off," he hissed trying to keep quiet. "My Dad's down the hallway."

Dean pouted, turning his gaze to anime love me as he batted his lashes. "But Lu...I need you.."

"Dammit Dean, for the last time, you are not a Vulcan, nor are you going through Pon Farr."

Dean smirked and waggled his eyebrows, "I'll put my Pon in your Farr."

"That doesn't even-"

Dean silences him with a kiss, and really Lucifer doesn't even know why he was fighting him in the first place.

"Take me..?"

"With pleasure, Doctor," Dean says in the most even voice he can before he seals his mouth over Lucifer'a once more.


	2. Chapter 2

"Jim, he's dead."

Dean startles hearing Lucifer's voice drop into a Southern twang, and nearly loses his grip on the scalpel.

"Dammit Lu, I swear to God I'm gonna put a bell on you," Dean glares at the amused teen.

Lucifer just shrugs, nodding towards the tray with the rat pinned down for dissection. "Oh come on, if I hadn't done it, this class would just be...depressing."

"Yea well next time get the sex right," Dean says gruffly as he prods at one of the eggs. "See that? That means it's a she."

Lucifer wrinkles his nose, "I don't see how you can seem...happy about doing this."

"And I don't see why you lied to Mrs. Mills about being a vegetarian or whatever other mumbo jumbo you said. You and I both know you like bacon, and I've seen you go dove hunting."

Lucifer rolls his eyes taking a seat beside Dean to watch him work. "Maybe I'm channeling my inner Vulcan?"

"Pull the other one, Lu."

Lucifer sighs, grimacing in disgust as Dean makes an incision on the stomach. "I may not be morally disgusted by the loss of a rat, but I'm disgusted nonetheless."

Dean does put the scalpel down then, turning to look Lucifer in the eye. "You're afraid of rats?"

"I didn't say that."

"Sure you did," Dean is grinning ear to ear now.

"Not exactly."

Dean snorts shaking his head, "how's the scariest guy in the school afraid of a rat? A dead rat at that?"

"Hey Dean, how's Mr. Blake's yorkie?"

Dean gets really quiet before turning away. "Point proven."

"Uh-huh, thought so," Lucifer smirks.


	3. Chapter 3

"What, did you do to your hair," Dean asks eying Lucifer dubiously, as the usually blonde locks are now a shade of brown bordering mahogany.

Lucifer doesn't even bother turning around from where he's rooting around in his closet for the perfect shirt.

"Oh come on, not even TOS Bones is blonde," he says offhandedly as though it explains everything. Knowing Lucifer, he very well could think that it does.

Turning to face Dean, he holds up two shirts, both a shade of baby blue, one long sleeve and made of cotton, with two gold stripes, the other short sleeved and a polyester-cotton blend.

"Which one, formal or standard uniform?" He asks arching an eyebrow.

"Standard," Dean responds before shaking his head, "seriously Lu, what are you doing?"

Lucifer rolls his eyes as he discards the formal shirt, and pulls off his own Zeppelin shirt to tug on the uniform.

"Oh come on, it must be obvious by now."

It is pretty damn obvious, but it's still a bit confusing, so Dean motions for Lucifer to fill him in a little more.

Lucifer just sighs and turns back to the closet, rooting around before he produces a long sleeved golden shirt with the Starfleet insignia and three bands, tossing it to Dean.

"Suit up Captain, eta to Comic-Con is 2.6 hours, if we leave in the next half hour."

Dean grins as he works off his flannel shirt.

"You got the communicators?"

"Tricorder too," Lucifer grins proudly, putting the strap over his shoulder.

"Then what are you waiting for?"

Lucifer smirks as he tosses over the communicator and car keys. "Just give the word Captain."


	4. Chapter 4

"Lu..." It comes out laced with warning, but Lucifer is playing oblivious.

"Come on Dean..you can spare 15 minutes."

Dean arches an eyebrow at that, turning from his desk to level Lucifer with a stare.

"20 minutes?"

Dean sighs crossing his arms over his chest.

That just garners a smirk from Lucifer as he moves to sit at the desk's edge. "Oh alright, 45 minutes," the teen concedes.

"Now that's more like it," Dean grins, and Lucifer gets his hopes up for a moment.

And then the bastard turns back to his algebra book, "but sorry, I can't. Dick's test is gonna kick my ass if I don't study."

Lucifer gives an overexaggerated sigh as he kicks lightly at Dean's chair. "You have plenty of time to study," he all but whines, pouting slightly.

"Oh no you don't, I invented that look, it ain't gonna work on me," Dean declares as he flips a page and begins working on number 27.

Lucifer scowls slightly, huffing in irritation as he turns his gaze to the opposite wall, a small smirk forming when his eyes land on a slightly worn poster of The Wrath Of Khan thumbtacked to the wall. He slowly slides off the desk, moving to turn Dean's chair to face him, glad for once in his life the damn thing is broken and missing arms, it makes what he's about to do easier.

Moving to straddle Dean's lap, he walks two fingers up the teens chest as he leans in closer so his mouth is level with Dean's ear.

"But /Captain/, it gets lonely in space..."

Lucifer knows he's won when the pencil falls, but Dean's returning answer really seals the deal.

"Well now /Doctor/, seems I'm neglecting my duties."

"Mmhm," Lucifer nods nipping at Dean's earlobe.

"Well let's fix that," Dean murmurs, hands moving down to work off Lucifer's jeans.

Besides, it's good to take study breaks, Dean reasons as he reaches for the lube at the bottom desk drawer.


	5. Chapter 5

'I have always been, and shall always be, your friend.'

A small sniffle sounds over the film, barely audible over Spock's raspy voice, but Lucifer has hearing that envy Vulcans, or so he's been told.

"Dude...are you crying?"

"No," Dean responds gruffly, except the answer comes just a tad too fast and his dabbing at his eyes is a dead give away.

"You so are!" Lucifer exclaims in glee, and gets a pillow hurled at his face in response.

"Shut up, it's...oak pollen, the shit's insane today."

Lucifer rolls his eyes at that, "yea because oak pollen suddenly comes from leather couches, I'll alert the media."

Dean grumbles, pulling his legs to his chest.

"What was that?"

"I said, The Empath."

Lucifer pales slightly, "don't you dare."

"Oh, I dare," Dean nods, smirking as he turns to look at Lucifer, eyes twinkling mischievously. "If I recall correctly, a certain blonde was clinging to me like a life time saying, and I quote, 'no, this can't...please, not Bones' at the thought of McCoy dying for an experiment?"

Lucifer gets super quiet and fixes his gaze on the empty popcorn bowl on the coffee table. "Alright, I get it.."

"Or what about the time McCoy was diagnosed with xenopolycythemia? Or when him and Spock were stranded on-"

"Jesus, Dean, I get it!"

Dean chances looking at Lucifer, who huffs in response, still glaring at the popcorn.

"Hey...wanna start Search For Spock?"

"...I'll fill up the popcorn."


	6. Chapter 6

5 References They Made About Trek, And The 1 They Didn't Have To

1.

Lucifer has always been a little on the dramatic side, and by little, Dean means full tilt diva.

That's why, when Lucifer locks himself inside the car, Dean isn't all that surprised with the blonde's reaction.

In fact, all he can really do is smirk faintly as he watches Lucifer smash his hand in a Vulcan salute against the car window as he coughs out:

"I have been and always shall be your friend."

He keeps character for all of 10 seconds, and then he's grinning like a loon as he unlocks the car for Dean.

So no, Dean isn't surprised at all, because really, it was only logical.

2.

Lucifer's older brother, Michael, was the star of the varsity wrestling squad. Only problem was Lucifer could give zero shits about wrestling.

Unfortunately, Lucifer had also made a promise, one that seemed like a good thing at the time, but now that it was in action, he was rather regretting the deal. He had given his father his word that he would attend each and every meet this year.

So now he was stuck sitting on the too cold, too cramped, too uncomfortable bleachers, watching boys in tights rolling around on the floor.

About the only good thing of the evening, was the fact that dad had relented to let Dean join them, so at least Lucifer wasn't in this alone, and that was a victory in itself.

Of course, it did little to quell his boredom.

The night was shaping up to be another one spent counting ceiling lights (48), or so Lucifer thought.

Of course he wasn't expecting for Dean to start singing the damned fighting theme from Amok Time; rather enthusiastically at that.

The night's matches certainly proved to be more entertaining with the provided track.

3.

Lucifer had never been camping, had never wanted to before, but there was just no way to resist 'the look' Dean flashed his way.

So now Lucifer found himself sitting on a log with a fire burning before him and a bag of marshmallows next to him with Dean sitting opposite the fire.

"This is nice," Lucifer murmurs skewering a mallow.

"Oh, it gets better," Dean grins as he pulls a guitar out from behind the log he was perched atop.

Lucifer feels the corners of his mouth tug into a smile as Dean tunes the guitar.

"You gonna serenade ne," he asks, arching an eyebrow.

"Don't you know it baby," Dean winks as he positions his hands properly.

When the first notes hit Lucifer's ears, he nearly chokes on his marshmallow. And when Dean croons "row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream," well Lucifer can't help but hurl a mallow at his head.

4.

Lucifer had this unnerving habit of using the word 'fascinating'. Honestly Dean wasn't sure if it spawned from Trek, or was only amplified with each new watch.

Really, it wasn't annoying, but some times Dean wished he could get a different response from time to time, damned if the thing in question truly was 'fascinating'.

So perhaps he baits Lucifer, but it's in the name of science, so it's okay.

They've been studying for psychology nearly a half hour when Dean stumbles upon the perfect fact to implement his plan.

He can already see the light shining in Lucifer's eyes, the one that always happens right before he murmurs fascinating.

"Please, Luce, do me a favor, and don't say it's fascinating."

Lucifer doesn't miss a beat.

"No, but it is...interesting."

Dean rolls his eyes heavenward. Well fascinating was hardly an annoying word.

5.

Lucifer was with Dean when the idiot broke his leg. He was the one who supported him to the car, got him settled in the back, and drove him to the ER.

Lucifer isn't too certain how he managed to stay so calm, but he knows Dean was in pain and he needed help, badly.

It's much later after they've gotten situated and turned in the clipboard of information when the nurse comes over for clarification.

She's looking down at the paper, brow furrowed in confusion before she looks up at Lucifer.

"I'm sorry sir, but under relation to patient, you put...T'hy'la? Unfortunately, we aren't familiar with that term, and unless we can prove you're closely linked, you can't join him in the exam room."

Dean smiles faintly hearing the word, and doesn't hesitate to reach for Luce's hand.

"He's going with me," he says calmly looking up at the nurse in such a way that begs for confrontation.

"I'll just put boyfriend," she murmurs as she scribbles out 't'hy'la' and turns on her heels.

+1.

When Lucifer had to have his appendix removed, Dean was more panicked than he was. It got to the point that Luce had to promise everything would be alright, before Dean would let go of his hand so they could take him back to prepare for the surgery.

And Lucifer wishes he could have kept his promise.

When Lucifer wakes up post-op, Dean is sitting by his bed clutching his hand, eyes red rimmed as he looks up. He finds out later that the Doctor had trouble waking him from the anesthesia.

In the scheme of things, 90 seconds hardly amounts to any significant time, but when you're worried, 90 seconds can feel like an eternity.

Dean clears his throat suddenly, giving Luce's hand a gentle squeeze as though to remind himself that the blonde is very much alive.

"Lu, I-"

"Don't," Lucifer murmurs, shaking his head. "I'm here now," he says returning the squeeze, "you can't get rid of me that easily, Winchester."

Dean laughs, it's two parts hysteria, one part genuine, and one part pure exasperation. It's the best sound Lucifer's heard all day.

The 'and I don't know if I could stand to lose you again' goes left unsaid, lost between clutching hands and fervent kisses.


End file.
